Read out the *Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings: *

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool
at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more
popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a
woman gains her masters.

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water-power.

9. Dictionary : A place! where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody
disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have
never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead.

2! 1. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into
a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See
I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of
the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence
after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,and kills you with his bills.

31. Smart Employees : One who gets paid for reading such mails...... --